


Sleepless Nights and Empty Promises

by Kisafander



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23014309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisafander/pseuds/Kisafander
Summary: Virgil had abandoned the only Sides that had ever cared about him. But Deceit didn't care, he definitely doesn't remember all the good times. He doesn't remember Virgil's laugh, Virgil's real smile, how his nose scrunched when Remus brought up something gory or perverse.And he definitely doesn't miss Virgil.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 65
Collections: TSS Fanworks Collective





	1. New Beginnings?

(Based on a oneshot from my December Prompt Challenge in 2019)

It all started when Deceit accidentally entered the light side.

He really hadn’t intended to pop in the light side, but apparently the mindscape had different ideas on where Deceit should go. 

The sneaky devil. Deceit sometimes wondered if the mindscape itself knew things that even the sides didn’t know. Maybe it’s just that it can’t help but see everything, so it’s bound to pick up on things no one else does. 

His mind was elsewhere thinking about how long until he can curl back under his heat lamp in his room as he entered the kitchen to get a snack, and happened upon Virgil doing the same, who had turned around and saw Deceit at the same time Deceit saw him.

Virgil hissed.

Deceit hissed back simultaneously.

_What the fuck? How can Virgil have the audacity to come back after all this time? Who in the hell does he think he is thinking he can just waltz right back in like nothing happened?_

Deceit almost allowed his face to reveal his true emotion, but he caught himself.

Deceit cooled his face back into a neutral expression. “You’ve never visited, why now?” Deceit droned while pretending to check his nails through his gloves.

Oh how Deceit wanted to feel the way Virgil’s throat felt in his gloved grip to finally be able to lecture him on how he had abandoned his only friends for a sham, a fraud, and a naive idiot. But instead he soothingly waited for whatever pathetic excuse would come out of Virgil’s lips.

_Wait mouth, not lips. Focus Deceit._

Virgil face turned to anger. “Why are you in the light side?” Virgil growled, letting the statement echo as a threat towards Deceit.

 _Oh no he didn’t, he didn’t just claim that_ I _would be the one to rudely intrude for no reason! I always have valid reasons for what I do, how dare you!_

Instead Deceit replied:

“Oh my sweet summer child, you must be mistaken. Have you lost your way and forgotten where you have been-” Deceit smirked, but stopped when he looked in the living room.

The Light Sides were on the couch in the living room, frozen watching the interaction.

_Shit. I’m in the Light Side._

“Well, when you do find your way, I hope you think long and hard about not getting lost again.” Deceit’s mask was on again as he sunk out.

Just before he lost earshot of the kitchen, he heard Roman recover from his stupor and draw his sword to do god knows what.

Deceit slumped to the ground back in the dark side.

He had just done that, he had done the thing he swore he would never do. 

Tears rolled down Deceit’s face as he saw how much his former best friend had looked at him. Like a stranger, a villain, like the Light Sides did every time they saw him.

Deceit laughs a dry laugh that holds no humor in it despite the tears still rolling down his face.

_At least he never forgot the first thing I ever taught him, my little hisser._

Deceit smiled, even if it was a small one, at least he had the memories.

And thus it started.

Every time Deceit and Virgil saw each other, they both would simultaneously hiss at each other.

 _Hiss! “_ Hiss! Fuck off!”

But the interactions after this common event were becoming more and more… friendly.

 _Hiss. “_ Hiss….. wait… is that granola? Can I have some?”

Slowly, such that neither really realized, they started to build the bridge back into being friends. It wasn’t instantaneous, over months of small interactions.

 _Hiss. “_ Bitch hiss. You got that one fidget cube I gave you a week ago, I need it back.”

And because the only interaction the other Sides were present for was the first, they were quite surprised when Deceit popped up again in the kitchen, this time intentionally.

Dee was humming _I Put a Spell on You_ as he went up behind Virgil, tapping him on the shoulder

“Hey Dee.” Virgil said nonchalantly as he handed a protein bar to Deceit without even looking, Deceit and Virgil always seemed to have a need to snack at the same time.

“Hey, Vee.” replied Deceit, who opened the wrapper and bit down before looking up into the living room to see the Light Sides on the couch, a repeat of the interaction that started their eventual rekindling of their friendship, despite it’s rough start.

But his time, Deceit didn’t think to sink out.

“You bastard you’ve brainwashed him!”

Roman drew his sword and before any one could think to say anything, was rushing at Deceit with his sword primed to strike.

He heard the other’s call after Roman, telling him to stop, to wait, to listen, but all Deceit could think was:

_Fuck! I’m dead!_

All Deceit could do was raise his hands up defensively before Roman struck.

_Slice._

A moment, that’s all it was, a moment of silence before Deceit realized he wasn’t hurt and looked up at what took the blow.

_Virgil…_

Virgil had…

Virgil had jumped in front of Deceit to stop Roman from slicing, but the blade kept coming. It was sticking out of Virgil’s stomach with the tip still coming within inches of striking Deceit.

Virgil was facing Deceit as that had been the only thing he could do before Roman struck down. Not caring about his own life, that was a first.

For what seem like an eternity, everything seemed to stand still, before Virgil grabbed Deceit’s hands and held them in his, looking Deceit straight in the eye.

Virgil smiled the sweetest smile Deceit had ever seen and kissed Deceit, “I love you.”

And then Virgil’s world went black (and all heck broke lose).


	2. A Little Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit makes a promise that he intends to keep. But no one could unbreak his promise now.

The first thing that caught Lying’s attention was the sniffling

He had been indulging in a little make-believe like Creativity often did, but the difference between Lying and Creativity is that there was never any one to pretend with for Lying. He had just as big an imagination, but unlike Creativity he could never _create_ something with it.

Lying had just gotten done with a very impassioned but also equally sarcastic rant about how Thomas’s parents were hiding the truth about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy from Thomas and that Thomas should stop lying to himself about it. But of course, if Creativity had anything to say about it, Right would never hear about this conviction of Lying’s if it’s the last thing he’d do.

Maybe that’s why he was always alone. Right was always thinking about what was right for Thomas, and he always seemed to keep Thomas away from trouble. But Creativity and Knowing didn’t seem to ever remember the times Right was… well… wrong.

But Lying pushed those thoughts aside as he dropped his arms from where he had been gesturing dramatically to make his point to unseen audience of the other Sides. His brow furrowed and he felt a true frown on his face as he looked for the source of the noise.

_What was that? Should I get Creativity? He likes me sometimes, but maybe today is a mean day._

Lying stood still for a moment, weighing his options.

_Whatever made the sound sounded upset, maybe I should help?_

Lying took a step toward the sound, but faltered as another thought gripped his heart like a vice.

_But what if it’s a trap? Creativity never shies away from laying traps on his mean days. Though… I don’t mind all of them, some are fun. I actually get to play make-believe with Creativity when that happens! Maybe that’s what it is! I should see what it is!_

Lying let a smile color his features as he straightened his outfit. He would want it spick and span if he was going to get caught in one of Creativity’s traps. Even if they weren’t the bestest of friends all the time, Lying still wanted to indulge Creativity’s ‘darker’ passions.

No one else would, so why not help a fellow side in need of entertainment?

Lying just hoped it wasn’t like that _one_ time. He still could smell squid ink rounding that one corner no matter how many times anyone tried to clean the smell off the walls.

He peeked out his door and braced himself for an ambush that didn’t come.

_That’s odd…_

Creativity never failed to spring on him immediately when he was planning a trap, even if that made it fail spectacularly because Lying had walked out too early for the trap to be properly set up.

Making sure the hallway was truly empty, Lying flicked his tongue to taste the air. His appearance wasn’t just for looks, he enjoyed the ability to know someone was nearby even if they were hidden from his eyes.

The cold-blooded part of Lying left him frustrated though. Being perpetually cold unless he had almost every inch of his body covered while also desiring to rip of every piece of clothing off for how restrictive it felt against the scaly part of his skin.

He was not a fan, but no one could change how they manifested for Thomas.

Reassured that there was no hidden Creativity nearby ready to pounce, Lying took a confident step into the hall, tuning his ears to pick up where the sound was coming from.

Lying thought that the sound was surely coming from the bright common room where the others always congregated, but as he listened, he realized it was coming from the opposite direction, down into the darkness that got deeper the more you wandered away from the common room.

Suddenly, he got really shaky, and started to feel something he had never felt before. He had been cautious by default, but this was completely different. Scenarios of all the worst things Creativity could do with his traps went through Lying’s mind all at once, causing Lying to stagger and place his hand on the wall to steady himself.

His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest as his breathing increased like he had just got done running from one of Creativity’s ‘accidents’ that had decided to chase him around the Mindscape until he had no choice to go into the commons. Lying thanked his lucky stars that Creativity had been on one of his nice days as he hadn’t hesitated to conjure a sword to strike that said monster down. Or at least that’s what he assumed the day was as Creativity hadn’t swung at him.

Right had squealed with fright when he saw Lying being chased by a shadowy figure and afterwards Lying supposed that that was probably why Creativity had been so quick to strike it down. But at the time, all Lying could think was that he was safe and that no one would hurt him.

He was wrong. Creativity had turned on him, asking calmly and sternly but with fury in his eyes why Lying had dared to enter the common room outside of meal times.

“You know why you can’t be in here! Now get out villain!” Creativity thundered, poking him with the blunt edge of his sword, but he could’ve done so much worse.

Lying had learned quickly that Creativity was not to be questioned when he was like this. Lying knew the only thing stopping Creativity from doing anything short of running him in with his sword was that Right was cowering on the couch nearby.

Right had uncurled himself, his expression going from terrified to gentle in a moment, and placed a trusting hand on the blunt edge of Creativity’s sword.

“Creativity, you know that Lying wouldn’t come in here unless there was no other choice, you just killed what was after him! I’m disappointed in you.” Right had turned to Lying and gave him his hand to help him up.

When Right turned away from Creativity however, Lying saw his gaze go from understanding and reflective and even a little embarrassed, right back to fuming and angry as he made eye contact with Lying.

He gestured a silent message: _You tell him, I hurt you._

So Lying had just meekly thanked Creativity for protecting him and Right for deescalating and had scurried off as fast as he could back to his dim room on the outskirts of the light.

Creativity was one heck of an actor, but then again, so was Lying. There was only one side that was truly honest about his façade bring a façade, and it wasn’t Creativity.

Lying took a deep breath instinctually knowing to get air back in his lungs with controlled deep breaths despite the unfamiliar feeling curling in his gut. As he righted himself, he sent a cursory lick to the air once more.

Someone else was there.

But it wasn’t Learning or Right or even Creativity’s slight variation in smell, no.

It was something new.

It was someone new.

They tasted like the feeling in his stomach, which made the new sensation worsen as Lying was reminded of how Creativity used his power when the others weren’t looking on Lying. Lying’s breathing picked up again before he again reeled in his runaway thoughts.

Though the label of his function was so easily delegated to a single word meaning he would always not tell the truth, Lying new better. He believed that this new Side wouldn’t be mean, and if he believed hard enough, it would be true.

Didn’t make the bruises under his thick clothes stop hurting though, it was one of the only things he couldn’t make true, that Creativity would always be nice to him.

Lying calmed himself with slow deep breaths.

_I should focus on helping whoever I heard, they sounded upset._

Lying cooled his feature into a confident but curious expression as he started purposefully but cautiously into the darkness away from the common room.

It took his eyes a handful of moments to adjust to the low light, but eventually he was able to make out a bend in the hallway he had never seen before. His stomach clenched with that new emotion, but he didn’t let that stop him as the sniffling and a new sound that he could now hear of quiet crying grew louder.

He was tempted to call out to the Side in distress, but something told him he should ease into his greeting. Lying slowed his pace as he reached the corner, careful to not make any sudden noise or movements.

When he slowly peeked around the corner, it took a few moments for him to see what was there but he bit back a gasp at the sight.

Up against the wall, huddled in a shivering ball, was a Side with dark shadows circling around them. Lying almost couldn’t even see the Side through the shadows and the fact they had such dark clothes on.

The Side was crying, the shadows around him pulsing in time with his cries. Even though he knew nothing about this new Side, Lying felt an immediate pang of sympathy if not empathy. He knew what it was like to be alone and… scared.

That’s kind of like the new feeling he had, being scared, but stronger and more constant like it was throughout his whole body and all he could do was tremble? Lying wasn’t completely sure.

Lying took a chance and stepped out from around the corner.

The shaking Side’s gaze immediately snapped to him, eyes wide as the shadows that had been circling around him surged towards Lying. Lying suddenly felt like he was drenched in that new feeling, his nerve endings jittering and not in a pleasant way like when he was around Right. Lying threw up his hands and yelled, “No, please! I don’t want to hurt you!”

Suddenly the shadow stopped, inches from his face.

Lying slowly but surely removed his hands from in front of his face to look at the shadows in the eye, despite the fact they had none. Lying stood stock still for moment before he realized the shadows weren’t pouncing, they were… waiting for something.

Lying chanced a slow wavering step towards the new Side, the shadows matched him, staying just as far away as before. Lying felt a shiver at the knowledge they were monitoring any movement to harm this new Side.

_No little one, I am not like Creativity. Oh… I hope you have never met him and never have to endure his games._

Lying felt time go painstakingly slow as he tried to both get to the new Side as quickly as possible and measure his steps to ensure the shadows didn’t see him as a threat.

But eventually, Lying was within touching distance of this new Side. Very wary of the shadows circling around him, Lying gently placed a hand on the Side’s knee, as he had curled themselves into a ball after seeing Lying.

But the moment Lying placed his hand on him, the new side recoiled suddenly in a way that made Lying’s blood both run cold and boil. The new Side had thought Lying would punch him, slap him, or just hurt him.

And he knew exactly what Side could instill that kind of fear into another Side: _Creativity._

But before Lying could go up to Creativity and absolutely throttle Creativity even if Lying would be hurt much more than usual, Lying made eye contact with the Side, emitting a small gasp mixed with a hiss from Lying.

The eyes that looked back at him reminded him of his own, mismatched eye colors that he had only seen in the mirror. Learning had called it something starting with an h, but Lying couldn’t remember what it was. Something about them brought a small blush to Lying’s cheeks, but he didn’t register anything other than the sides eyes for a moment.

Purple and Green. Brown and yellow.

But at Lying’s gasp, the side curled back defensively into himself and the shadows closed in, making Lying feel vaguely claustrophobic as he simply ran his thumb across the Side’s knee, trying to communicate that he meant the Side no harm.

When the new Side seemed to realize that there was no hurt or punishment coming (Lying inwardly fumed again at the idea of Creativity placing such fear in this newly formed side) the new Side again looked up, still hesitant, but a little less fear filled.

The new Side contemplated something, eyebrows scrunching together with an expression of deep thought. Then quietly, the little side hissed at Lying.

For the first time, Lying understood Right’s infatuation with little things like puppies and kittens, as the new Side looked absolutely adorable trying to imitate him. Lying let himself utter a small chuckle, which the new Side in front of him looked confused at him for doing.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the shadows surrounding them slowly drift to the ground and fade from sight.

The new Side’s eyes light up as he sees the reaction to his effort is positive and he again concentrates for moment as he tries to imitate the true hiss Lying was able to make with his snake tongue, but only gets a thoroughly decent human hiss instead.

Lying smiles a truly genuine smile at the Side, loving how the Side’s mismatched eyes light up at the gesture.

“What’s your name, my little hisser? Surely we must introduce ourselves.” Lying asks, eyes and grasp gentle as he takes the hand of the still slightly trembling side.

The side squeezes Lying’s hand and mumbles something into his black hoodie’s sleeve.

“What was that little one? You need to speak up a little.” Lying asks again, keeping his voice level and calm even though his heart was breaking at how scared this Side was.

“An-An-Anxiety.”

Oh. _Oh._

Lying struggled to keep his face neutral, clenching one of his hands behind his back, keeping the other gentle against Anxiety’s knee.

“A-Anxiety, that’s a nice name. With a name like that you must be pretty scared huh?” Deceit cooed.

Anxiety ducked his head and nodded.

Lying gave a light chuckle, “Well, why don’t come with me and I can take you out of the darkness so I can see that precious face of yours alright?”

Anxiety whipped his head up, eye wide. “But what about the meanie? He… he…”

Anxiety’s eyes rapidly filled with tears. Lying immediately swooped up the trembling side into his arm and shushed his crying, attempting to comfort Anxiety.

“Shh, shh… It’s okay my little bat, as long as you’re with me, he will never hurt you.” Lying strains under Anxiety’s weight slightly, but as he is relatively older and bigger in size, is able to more easily carry Anxiety to Lying’s room.

“Promise?” Anxiety asks through his tears, wiping them away to look at Lying’s face as he responds. His eye were so precious and vulnerable, something in Lying’s heart melted at the sight, but he didn’t let his comforting expression slip.

“I promise, little bat. I promise that he will never hurt you.” Lying vowed, believing in that moment that he would never let Creativity hurt Anxiety.

Anxiety, seeing from what he knew that this Side was being truthful, smiled just a little. And even though it was nowhere near Right’s cheery and open smile that the others thought was the best smile ever, to Lying, nothing and no one’s smile could rival the first smile Anxiety ever gave him.

By the time Lying got back to his room, Anxiety’s eyelids were drooping as he relaxed in Lying’s arms, content for the first time, knowing he was safe in them.

Lying gently laid Anxiety down on the bed and draped the blankets over him, tucking him in.

But instead of getting in beside Anxiety, Lying stood close by Anxiety as his breaths leveled out into a deep sleep.

When they did, Lying quietly slipped out of the room and went to the only place in the Mindscape the others had never found and if they did, they didn’t want to go in as Lying made sure it looked too dangerous for anyone to venture in alone. But past it’s scary façade, all there was was comfort. Comfort for a side that that had none from others.

When he was there, confident in the knowledge that no one could hear him even at his loudest. He yelled.

He yelled and punched and screamed and railed at the walls.

Now Creativity had done it. He had gone and done it.

He had made Thomas anxious, permanently.

Lying knew that they had been able to fear before, it was a simple human emotion after all. But this, the fact that Thomas had an Anxiety Side meant that he would be forever virgilant… wait no vigilant. Though, Virgil doesn’t sound that bad, but it wasn’t what Lying meant. But he would be vigilant to a fault always looking over his shoulder and worrying about things that are taken care of.

It wasn’t Anxiety’s fault. Anxiety is here and he can’t change that.

But if it was the last thing he’d do, he would protect the part of Thomas that should’ve never had to suffer like this being brought into the world properly.

To be a Side placed with all the responsibilities of fearing the worst and meanest things he could think of with a Side who on his mean days might actually do them to Anxiety, Lying would never let such atrocities actually befall his little hisser.

Or at least, that’s what he wanted.

But as Virgil’s eyes dimmed and body slumped around the sword in his abdomen, Deceit’s heart cried out in anguish at failing the first promise he made to himself with Virgil.

Deceit felt his heart break as his first true friend’s eyes slipped shut into an oblivion wrought by the hand he hated the most, or a version of that hand at least.

And he wouldn’t stand for that, not for one moment.

There will be blood.


	3. Addition to the family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit be angy

Deceit caught Virgil as he slumped over, limp from the sword to the gut. 

He looked into Virgil’s unconscious face with disbelief and shock. Virgil… saved him... saved… Deceit...

Everyone stood stock still in silence for a moment at the shock of what just happened. But then Righ-Moral-Patton broke the silence with a way too small sounding “Virgil?”

That seemed to break everyone out of their shock and a bunch of things happened at once, most of which Deceit couldn’t pay attention to as he searched for any sign of life in his form- no still his best friend’s face. Though maybe more if Virgil was truly truthful in what he said.

Logan came over to where Deceit had Virgil, not caring about the relationship between them as Dark Side and Light Side, just coming over to help his friend. Patton too darted towards Virgil, cradling his head as he settled down beside Deceit where he held Virgil.

Roman, however, pulled the sword from Virgil’s body, frozen for a moment of shock at what had just occurred. But after a fleeting moment of shock, his expression turned to utter and complete rage as he looked up to face Deceit, meeting him right in the eyes. Neither of the other two sides seemed to notice as they fretted over Virgil in Deceit’s arms.

“No! Virgil are you alright! Can you speak?” Logan asked, immediately starting to administer first-aid to Virgil’s unconscious body.

“My sweet Stormcloud, please wake up!” Patton pleaded with Virgil’s peaceful face, smoothing Virgil’s hair out of his face.

Deceit froze in fear as Roman stared daggers into his soul, he vaguely heard Logan telling him to “Put Virgil down please, Deceit.” His arms however, did the opposite as he pulled Virgil closer to himself, not heeding the other two sides protests.

“Deceit, please, we need to help him, he’s dying!” Patton pleaded with Deceit, not that he took any stock in Patton’s words, only knowing that Patton was being honest.

“Deceit, you need to let Virgil go or we can’t help him, please, be sensible!” Logan desperately asked Deceit, tugging at one of the arms encircling Virgil. Deceit didn’t pay him any mind as the fear of Roman drowned out any energy to even register their pleas.

Roman took this opportunity to declare, brandishing a blood soaked sword with Deceit best and first true friend’s blood being the blood covering it, “Fiend! You’ve brainwashed our friend to protect you! You even made him think that he loves you! I don’t know how you’ve managed this, but rest assured it will not stand! I should kill you right now for even daring to touch him!”

“No, I- stop-” Deceit spluttered, failing to call back that cool facade he so easily conjured usually in the face of surprising situations. But in this situation, no one could really be that composed. Unless of course, you were Creativity, as he called upon his sickening persona within a moment’s notice. Deceit inwardly gagged, which was impressive as he lived with the living embodiment of inward gagging in the form of Remus on a daily basis.

Deceit realized he had become distracted by his thoughts and suddenly snapped back to reality, realizing at some point Virgil had been extracted from his arms. He saw Logan and Patton working on him a few feet away. Deceit scrambled towards them, finally getting back onto his feet.

But Roman stepped in front of them, coming nose to nose with Deceit. Deceit could see every pore on his face and felt the heat of Roman’s anger as well as it’s dishonesty. It was the one thing Roman could never change, Deceit always knew when he was putting on a show for the others. The air always tasted sour and Roman’s body language never matched what he was saying.

Deceit launched himself at Roman, not caring now about telling the truth to them as Roman was getting in Deceit’s way of keeping his promise to Virgil. He needed to get to Virgil, he needed to protect him, to make up for his failure to keep their first promise. Roman was now an obstacle between him and that goal. In fact he was the reason Virgil was dead now, so Deceit didn't care about holding back anymore as he launched himself fist first into Roman’s jaw.

_ I hate you, you’re a monster and everyone should know! Fuck you!  _ Deceit screamed in his mind, not even knowing if he was just thinking it or speaking it.

“Gah!! Oh, you motherfu- fiend!” Roman shouts, drawing his sword with one hand as he cups the blow on his jaw with the other and glancing at Patton as he was about to swear. Deceit got into a defensive position and got ready for Roman’s retaliation. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of silver, but he was too slow to react in time.

Suddenly without warning, Deceit felt a sharp pain in his head, his hand coming up sluggishly to touch it in vague curiosity. Distantly, he felt his arms relax and his body slump forward as his world went black. 

_ Ow... _

Deceit’s last full thought was wondering how they thought Remus was so bad when they had someone so much worse constantly with them as his vision tunneled in. He swore he heard someone curse and gasp as his awareness fully faded.

-

_ Someone prodded his face. He swatted their hand away. _

_“Dee Dee! Wake up! It’s time to wake up!”_ _A familiar and excited voice exclaims._

_ “Warm…” Deceit replies, bundling himself more in his thick comforter, trying to float back into that mind-numbing warmth and go back to sleep. _

_ But as the comforter was yanked off of him and he got an overwhelming burst of cold cold cold cold COLD, he was forced to curl into himself as he immediately began to shiver at the cold that overwhelmed his senses. _

_ “An-an-an-anxiety! I to-told you not to-to pull off the covers to wake me up! You know I’m cold-blooded! It’s very unpleasant to wake up cold like that!” Deceit reprimanded a bouncing Virgil on his bed, fistfuls of his comforter in his grasp. _

_ The two Sides looked around 18, with Anxiety being particularly smaller in size, if just a few inches shorter right then, but still share the same resemblance in age. _

_ “I know! I just really want to have some breakfast! I’ve been really anxious I’m gonna starve lately.” Anxiety replied with a slight pout. _

_ Deceit snatched the comforter from Anxiety’s grasp and pressed it to himself, savoring the warmth it brings before sighing exasperatingly and groaning, “Ok, fine! I’m up!” _

_ Deceit swung his legs over the edge of the bed, letting them fall naturally to rest on the floor before pushing himself up. First things first he slipped on his heavy outerwear for the day that served the function similar to the comforter during the night. Even the undergarments he wore every moment of the day and night would cause other Sides to sweat if they wore anything close to what he wore. Not to mention the heavy outfit and cape that insulated him to feel almost hot in the mindscape.  _

_ Anxiety had tried on Decet’s coat more than once before and the last time he had almost fainted from overheating within just 2 minutes. Deceit kept his coat far away from Anxiety’s curious hands after that, though Anxiety seemed wary of it anyway as he had been out of commision for 12 hours due to heat stroke, throwing up, being really fatigued among other symptoms. Namely, a hefty bit of disorientation. _

_ Anxiety thought Deceit was a turtle for 3 hours because of his bulky clothes and actually tried to climb back into Deceit’s coat, thinking ‘the turtle's shell leads to salvation’, without a second thought of what had gotten him like he was, was the coat itself. Throughout the ordeal, however, Anxiety’s anxiety seemed to have increased tenfold, he spooked himself a number of times with his own breathing for instance. Deceit thought Anxiety would never stop shaking with how much he was trembling for so long as he recovered. _

_ Despite his complete and utter cautiousness with the other Sides, Anxiety always seemed to put himself into situations that left him hurt or vulnerable enough for the other Sides to possibly hurt him. _

_ That’s why he had cut them off, among other reasons, namely Creativity, from the other Sides, the Sides that Thomas embraced, however flawed they actually were. _

_ Deceit had cut them off from the other Sides, embracing that Dark part of the Mindscape as he had seen when he had first met Anxiety, though vague early memories told him that every Side had emerged from the ‘Darkness’ of Thomas’s mind when they came to be. _

_ That didn’t mean that other Sides couldn’t come there, that just meant that one had to willingly want to enter their part of the Mindscape by sinking down and rising up in their domain. _

_ Deceit was never one to turn up a chance of shenanigans with the other Sides, though he was definitely more covert about his strategy. Deceit was one for social manipulation, to impersonate other Sides and begin a fight between them and watch as they squabbled. Anxiety however, was not secret at all about his influence and would hide in places where Deceit honestly would wonder how he had gotten there and then spook whatever Side happened upon him first, relishing the fear it sparked in them. _

_ More than once Deceit had to force Anxiety to sink down as Creativity would never hesitate to brandish his sword if he was the unlucky target of Anxiety’s antics.  _

_ But Deceit wasn’t thinking about that as he ruffled Anxiety’s hair as he went by, eliciting an impassioned “Hey!” from Anxiety. _

_ - _

Deceit heard voices that sounded like they were far off in the distance, they sounded concerned, talking in hushed tones. Deceit felt so cold, had he taken off his coat? He didn’t remember. He felt a hand swiping over his knuckles, though that sensation too felt miles away. One of the voices started to sound really angry and Deceit groaned, trying to see what was happening, but his body felt like it was sinking down through the floor and he felt so tired….

-

_ Deceit rolled his eyes as he exited his room into the hallway to their personal common room, his and Anxiety that is. _

_ But just as he felt a true smile alight his face, a sound that didn’t come from Anxiety back in Deceit’s room behind him put him immediately on edge. _

_ Anxiety was immediately by his side, clinging to his bulky sleeve, like all those years ago when they were together but alone with the others in those first days they’d know each other. _

_ Anxiety started to shake in the way that Deceit knew his thoughts were racing uncontrollably like when he was building into a panic attack. “What’s that? You think its-”  _

_ Deceit put a gentle gloved hand over Anxiety’s mouth, silencing him, but immediately removed it as Anxiety knew panicking was not wise in this situation. Anxiety just couldn’t help it sometimes, and Deceit understood that. _

_ Deceit had finally discovered that he could force Sides to stay quiet. He had been doing it subconsciously for years. The occasional speechlessness other Sides had experienced when they had had heated arguments with Deceit made sense now, he had been silencing them without realizing it or consciously meaning to.  _

_ He had a particularly heated argument with Morality about how he was making Thomas miserable worrying him sick about what other people and his teachers thought of him and how he had to have good grades. Morality had said that his parents wanted Thomas to get good grades and that he should care about his classmates because they were all part of the class. Deceit argued that constantly focusing on others neglected Thomas and Thomas needs at least some time without focusing on others, even in school. _

_ Morality had retaliated saying, “That’s wrong! Having Thomas just think about himself is wrong! It’s selfish!” _

_ Deceit had roared back, saliva spraying towards his verbal opponent, “What’s selfish is that you think everyone  _ needs _ Thomas when they have their own lives. Thomas is his own person and just like you might think it would be good for other people to indulge in a mental health day, Thomas needs that too!” _

_ And when Deceit looked at Morality’s face to gage his reaction, it was suddenly too much, Deceit was  _ furious _ and his anger boiled over. Morality opened his mouth to speak, face full of indignation and an anger or frustration all his own. _

_ And Deceit just snapped. _

_ “No! Be quiet! You’re wrong! You’re wrong! You never let me be! Just SHUT UP!” Deceit had erupted, pulling at his hair before pulling his hat off his head and squashing it with both hands before gesturing in a way that felt natural and foreign at once, feeling a new sensation through his connection to Thomas. He felt angry tears roll down his face as his anger-filled exclamation finished. _

_ Suddenly, Morality’s hand had come up and covered his mouth, stunning Morality and stunning Deceit so much that he lost all his anger and forgot what his next point was.  _

_ Deceit, being the Side he was, had recovered his composure first, smirking as he remarked, “Hypo-allergenic cat got your tongue? Or have you finally realized that Thomas isn’t the goody two shoes you’re so stubborn to believe he is?” _

_ But much to Deceit’s surprise, and Deceit was rarely so surprised, much less twice in thirty seconds, Morality didn’t even try to remove his hand from his mouth, he had just muffledly shouted something through his fingers. _

_ “Um… Morality, just take your hand off your mouth and then speak.” Deceit had instructed Morality, dumbfounded as to why Morality wasn’t doing that to begin with. _

_ Morality had then looked at Deceit incredulously, like there was some insult thrown by Deceit through that simple suggestion or something.  _

_ “What? What’s so hard about removing your hand? You just…” Deceit had mimed placing his hand over his mouth and then removing it, waiting for Morality to do the same.  _

_ Morality had a sudden expression of realization and then started rapid-fire gesturing with his other hand at the hand covering his mouth. _

_ Deceit could barely keep up with the gestures Morality was making, but when he caught a gesture and a pointer finger at him and then to where Morality was covering his mouth with his hand, it clicked. _

_ “Wait… I’m doing that? Fuck! Oh, shit sorry! I mean…” Deceit had spluttered as he naturally cursed in realization, forgetting Morality’s great dislike of swears. Even if they disagreed, Deceit had never been one to be outright rude to disregard some etiquette of mutual respect. Deceit had then gathered himself for the 3rd time in 2 minutes and then concentrated, trying to undo whatever he did to Morality, feeling out that foreign sensation. _

_ For a moment as he had felt out the sensation, he feared he wouldn’t be able to reverse what he had caused, but Morality's surprisingly gentle voice pulled his eyelids back open. _

_ “Deceit, it’s alright, you’ve stopped whatever happened, just breathe.” Morality had gently cooed. _

_ When had he curled up on the floor, when had his breathing become so difficult, when had the darkness behind his eyes as well as the room itself gotten tinged a shade of red at the edges? _

Oh, I’m having a panic attack. Fun.

_ Those had been the last words he thought before he woke up back in his room, that oh so familiar feeling of aching, no that was too tame a word, of agony all over every inch of his body. He had to use every inch of resolve in him to not scream out like Creativity relished hearing him do in his special room, in addition to warranting more of that pai from Creativity if any of the other Sides discovered him like that. Creativity did not like to have to explain Deceit’s... ‘accidents’ too often. It made him… cranky. And cranky Creativity was not fun to be around. _

_ Creativity had apparently found him with Morality, promising to Morality to return Deceit to his room to wake in a calmer environment that would feel safer. Creativity, however, apparently had other plans, learning Deceit was the one that silenced him, even without knowing, all those times Creativity had ‘needed’ his voice. And Deceit’s body was the receiver of Creativity’s frustrations, whether Deceit wanted it to be or not. _

_ But Deceit would never subject Anxiety to his muting power, all Deceit needed was that tiny gesture to both soothe and quiet Anxiety. _

_ “Sh…” Deceit shushed Anxiety, placing a single finger gently on his own lips. _

_ Anxiety pulled back, eyes closing as he focused on his next action. Anxiety took in a few deep, slightly shuddering breaths before looking into Deceit’s eyes and nodding grimly. _

_ Deceit went first, going past the kitchen he had originally intended to go to after exiting his room, fists out in a combination of an offensive and a defensive position. Deceit had to be ready for either, knowing the likely cause of the disturbance. _

_ But as he repeated the same trek down the bend of their own personal mini-Mindscape hall, he stopped short when he saw what was there. _

_ The memories of that day with Anxiety were flashing through his mind as he saw a Side curled up on the far wall, silently crying. _

_ Fear coiled in his stomach as he took in their attire, though strangely it looked half formed, like the Side hadn’t consolidated fully yet. The Side had a green regal attire on, with lines across the chest Deceit knew to be Creativity’s staple of his outfit, though why he chose to change costume like this wasn’t important to Deceit. _

_ What was important to Deceit was why he was here and why he was pretending to be upset. No doubt to trick them into a trap of some sort.  _

_ Deceit was both equal measures fearful and furious, the only thing holding him back was the tentative hand gripping his from behind him. _

_ With much less care than all those years ago with Anxiety, Deceit approached this Side in front of him he knew to be Creativity. _

_ “Why are you here? To mock us? To try to pull me into another one of your games? Well, it won’t work, you’re in our territory now.” Deceit accused the quivering Side, not surprised at how authentic his cries were. Creativity had had plenty of time to learn new ways to cry listening to Deceit as they ‘had fun together.’ _

_ But much to Deceit’s surprise, Creativity looked up, tears in his eyes, and Deceit was overwhelmed by the truth in his expression, in fact, Deceit didn’t even sense a way there could be a lie on the Sides lips. This... wasn't that Creativity, the Creativity that had the desire to manipulate him into silence while breaking him from the inside out. The beginnings of a full blown moustache clued him in to what was truly occuring, but before he could speak the Side panicked and started to yell and scream his pleas. _

_ “No! I’m not! He left me! He’s the one that’s bad! The others hate me because of him! He lies so much! He told me… He told me…” Green Creativity trailed off as Deceit opened his arms, face full of pure understanding and dare he hasten to call it love. He hesitated only for a moment before slamming into Deceit in a hug. Anxiety exclaimed in indignation and yelled for Creativity not to hurt Deceit, but faltered when he realized what Green Creativity was doing.  _

_ “Whoa, it’s okay, I do understand. You’re alright now, I know you’re not him. That you could never do the things he wants to do, I see it in your eyes. And you know I see people’s true intentions, their truths they would want hidden and locked away.” Deceit soothed the sobbing Side, glancing at Anxiety and giving him a small smile to go ahead.  _

_ Anxiety tentatively placed his hand on Green Creativity’s Side, but that caused the Side to wail into the crook of Deceit’s neck. “He told me that I’m what was wrong with him, that I was the one who wanted to do those things to you and the other Sides. That I was getting in the way of him being the best Creativity he could be, but he’s wrong! I don’t want to do that to you or anyone else, even if the thought crosses my mind!” _

_ Deceit sighed softly as he felt the truth in the Side’s words, lowering them both to sit on the ground, Anxiety still standing up nearby. Deceit slowly brought Green Creativity’s head up from the crook of his neck, looking him directly in the eye with purpose. _

_ “You are not like that other Creativity. That Creativity is a manipulative asshole that lies even more than I do and that is my job to help Thomas lie. He isn’t here.” Deceit gently but firmly said, maintaining eye contact with the other Side, relieved when he saw him calming down. _

_ Green Creativity mumbled while dropping his eyes to look at the floor, “Morality would have a conniption hearing those words.”  _

_ Deceit smiled and brought the Side’s chin up with his hand to look him in the eyes again. _

_ “And Morality isn’t here either, so you can say all the shitty motherfucking goddamn curse words you damn well please here.” _

_ And for the first time, Deceit heard real laughter come from the regal Side, though even if it was now a part of that original singular regal Side. But Anxiety’s hesitant voice spoke up before either of them could continue. _

_ “Deceit?” _

_ “Yes, Anxiety?” _

_ “Is this Creativity good?” Anxiety asked, looking warily at the Green Creative Side. _

_ “He won’t hurt us, my sweet shadow friend. He wasn’t lying.” Deceit reassured Anxiety, knowing and understanding his concerns. _

_ “Okay.” _

_ Deceit smiled at the suddenly shy Anxiety, as the fear from before in Anxiety was mostly gone. It was quite endearing to see Anxiety so shy. Deceit was silent for a moment, looking the newly split Side over before asking, “What would you like us to call you? I suppose Creativity might not be something you would want to be referred to due to... past memories.” _

_ Green Creativity nodded solemnly, thinking for a long moment before speaking one word. _

_ “Remus.” _

_ - _

A voice cut through Deceit’s sleepy haze as he became semi-conscious, not really knowing where the memory stopped and reality began. He vaguely registered the words, but knew their meaning. His body was still so heavy.

“Wake up!” 

And really, Deceit didn’t have a choice.

Deceit opened his eyes.


	4. The Argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit opens his eyes and does not like what he finds.

Deceit opened his eyes and immediately wished he didn’t.

Though he couldn’t see everything, he saw a mass of red and white and all of his instincts went straight to fight or flight.

_Creativity! No, Roman! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

The problem was that, well, having just woken up from a formidable knock on the head, he couldn’t ready do anything other than scramble for a moment before feeling incredibly dizzy and stopping for fear of hurting himself. His breathing was coming in heavy and he couldn’t hear much over the roaring of blood in his ears.

“Oh no you don’t.” He heard Roman’s voice say, which didn’t help him as he tried to get his head to stop spinning.

He tried to move one of his hands up to his face as he tried to stop the world from spinning around him, but had both of his hands come up instead, knocking himself a little in the face, causing him to curse lightly.

“Fuck, that hurt.”

“Deceit! Language!” Patton’s voice came sternly, but just hearing Patton was still there, and most likely Logan as well, he relaxed as he knew Roman wouldn’t do anything in front of them.

Of course, he wasn’t desensitized to Roman from not interacting with him like _that_ for a number of years, but he was definitely out of practice.

“I’m… sorry Patton… it just slipped out…” 

Deceit was truly sorry, but out of habit, he knew Roman’s eyes were narrowing, analyzing him for weakness and lies that may be hidden.

Deceit’s stomach churned, and not just from the knock he had received on the head, but at how somewhere in Roman’s twisted mind, he believed that he loved Patton and Logan and thought he was _protecting_ them from him. And Logan and Patton had been convinced too, right from the beginning. Protecting them from the ‘purveyor of lies,’ when they both knew, even if Roman’s was way deep down in some small infinitesimal part of Roman’s heart, that Roman was the one Logan and Patton had to watch out for. _Deceit_ being the antagonist? Yeah, that was a laugh and a half.

Right on schedule, he felt a hand grip the scruff of his outfit and pull him up to his feet. Of course, his head protested as his vision swam and his head swirled, but as he was held there, he could finally see properly. 

Roman was right in his face, and Deceit could see every detail, from the pores on his nose to the tinge of red in Roman’s brown eyes. And not the sad kind of red in his eyes, the _dangerous_ kind of red. He couldn’t see Patton and Logan past Roman’s big head, but he knew they were close by as… well, Roman wouldn’t be this nice if they were truly away from the others. Deceit counted his lucky stars Roman valued keeping them in the dark over kicking Deceit’s ass proper.

Even if he hated how the main 3 sides, Deceit refused to use Roman’s phrasing of ‘Light Sides,’ went through the motions of trying to be a good person, defeating the purpose of doing it because they _wanted_ Thomas to be a good person, instead of ensuring he was honest with himself enough to make that a given as he would truly want to do the things they knew he should do.

“I don’t believe you, you _snake!_ ” Roman fumed in a whisper, saying the word _snake_ with a tone dripping with disgust. 

Deceit felt a wave of defiance sweep over him as he had been done with Creativity’s and now Roman’s shit for _years._ He twisted his face into a smirk that would make all other’s wither and die.

“That’s what you always say, and yet… we both know who does the ly-”

Roman slammed his hand over Deciet’s mouth in a twisted reversal of Deciet’s ability, seeming to relish how that made Deceit’s eyes go wide in a momentary shock.

To be honest, Deceit’s first reaction was one from all those years ago, that Roman was going to bring him to the point of death for talking back just like old times. But Deceit recovered and glared defiantly back at Roman, daring him to try something in the presence of his ‘friends.’

_If only your ‘friends’ could see the truth about you, you would never get to touch ANYONE like this ever again._

Logan’s voice came from behind Roman. “Roman stop! Be reasonable! We need to hear him out! Nothing comes from unchecked physical aggression like this!” 

Roman looks at Logan, dialing back the anger a little, but still furious.

“Hear him out? He made me impale Virgil! He brainwashed Virgil into thinking he was his friend and used him as a meat shield! The only thing he should be ‘hearing out’ is my fist!”

Roman turned back to Deceit, raising his fist up in punctuation to his statement, but was stopped by Logan, who grabbed Roman’s arm and wrenched Deceit’s outfit from Roman’s grasp. Deceit dropped to the ground and coughed up a lung as he was starting to have trouble breathing as Romans had held him there, only realizing it when his vision started to fog up just before he was dropped.

“Roman he is doing nothing right now! In fact, he’s cowering because you are antagonizing him, he’s scared!” Logan roars.

“That is just an act! He seeks Thomas’s destruction! Because what good could come from lying to the authorities or his friends? He is the embodiment of everything a protagonist stands against! His name is _Deceit!_ Not Logic, not Morality, or Creativity, DECEIT!” Roman roars back, eyes glowing redder by the minute.

Patton took this opportunity to go over to Deceit on the ground and help him up. Deceit felt Patton’s hands on his back and flinched, but once heard the soft reassurances flowing from Patton’s mouth, he relaxed. Patton led him by the hand and also placed a hand on deceit’s back to steady him. Deceit was both shocked and grateful for the gentle touch and guidance as he was led away.

“Come on Dee Dee, I don’t want you hurt more, let’s… go into the living room.”

As Deceit went slowly towards the common room with Patton, leaning on Patton heavily to stay upright, Logan and Roman continued to argue, voices becoming less abrasive to Deceit’s ears as he got farther away. 

“No! We can’t just kill Deceit because you think he brainwashed Virgil into liking him again! Unlike you, we actually change our mind sometimes! Don’t you think Virgil knows enough about Deceit to know he’s trustworthy? Or do not trust Virgil’s judgement, like you did from the beginning of Thomas’s video?” Logan fumed, and Deceit marveled at the emotion on his face as he glanced back at the pair from the couch.

Suddenly, Deceit felt tiny droplet from where his head was underneath Patton’s chin as they sat on the couch. Deceit pulled back and looked Patton in the eye, concerned. Patton made eye contact with him for a moment, but looked back to the arguing pair as the argument raged on.

For the first time since this whole thing started, Deceit was struck by the fact he could sink out. Why he didn’t think to do that before wasn’t really important to him right now, but he started to consider it as the argument raged on. 

That was until a wave of exhaustion swept over him, or was it because of the knock on his head? Deceit didn’t really care about the difference. 

He sagged against Patton’s chest and vaguely heard Patton ask him what was wrong and felt Patton’s hands holding him up. He just felt so tired, perhaps he was cold? All Deceit knew was his head was so heavy and his head was on something soft and it felt good.

He didn’t see Roman realizing he had disappeared.

He didn’t feel two new arms wrap around him trying to pull him away from Patton.

He didn’t feel one of the sets of hands win and run off with him.

He didn’t feel himself growing cold as his coat had been pulled off in the struggle.

He didn’t feel what he should’ve felt at what was happening to him: 

Dread.


	5. Where am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where am I?

Someone was here.

Where?

They were…

Where was he?

Everything hurt. He didn’t like it.

He couldn’t feel his body. His head was so fuzzy. Part of him just wanted to sleep forever, the other part demanded for him to stay awake. It was so…. hard. Both were so good and so bad, he felt like choosing one would rip him apart at the seams.

His head throbbed and he felt his body start to groan, in realizing this, he forced his limp and agonizingly heavy body to stay still. His heart stuttered as he feared he wasn’t careful enough to stay still.

His body was so distant he couldn’t tell if he was laying down or sitting up.

He focused on listening to the sounds around him to bring him from his mind and allow him to access his situation.

Maybe he was okay.

Maybe he was safe and just really tired.

But then again, if he was in the common room still, there would at least be a whisper or two that he could easily hear without straining, but there was just… silence.

Actually, come to think about it, the memories from where he was in the common room were fuzzy. What had happened?

At first, he heard nothing as he attuned his ears outward, but slowly, he made out the faint hint of a breath from somewhere around him.

It took all his resolve not to hold his own breath when he realized; a large amount of effort to keep his breath from catching or falling out of the gentle rhythm of sleep.

Then after a little while longer, he heard the sounds of something… woolen or clothlike, and a small clinking noise.

His heart seized.

Metal. It was metal.

Metal meant sword and sword meant Roman.

_FUCK!_

He was caught. Done for. Finished. He was at Roman’s mercy, and Roman…

Wait… Roman…

What was so bad about Roman? He couldn’t remember, the heavy feeling in his body making it hard to think.

That wasn’t good, right?

His… body was so heavy, he just… needed to sleep.

Words echoed in his mind.

_No! Don’t fall asleep! Wake up! Don’t!_

He was confused. He was so heavy and so sleepy. Why should he listen to thoughts telling him not to sleep?

From seemingly out of nowhere, a singular thought seemed to fall from the heavens and land right in the middle of his mind. One that didn’t completely clear his mind, but it reminded him of the truth:

 _Because you know what Roman can do. What he_ did _do._

_And you know why, you just don’t want to believe it._

_Because it’s the truth._

The words resonated within his mind, bouncing off the walls of his head, not in a headache inducing way, but in a way that helped him remember.

Roman… wasn’t a nice person. Actually, no, that was an understatement, Roman was a _horrible_ person.

It was a shame the other two were always so oblivious. But… he would never do that to them.

In time they would see, but…

Wait… Roman was here, and no one else…

That meant… no!!

Too late, he realized his breathing had increased and the clinking of Roman’s sword had stopped.

He heard a sadistic chuckle above him.

“I love how you think you can hide being awake from me, but I know you. You can’t hide from me.”

_Fuck!_

He kept his eyes closed. He wouldn’t give Roman the sick satisfaction of seeing his eyes wide and fearful, feeding off of his fear like the parasite he was.

He heard Roman above him scoff at his refusal to move.

“Don’t be such a baby! You always were so childish! You never let me have fun when we played pretend. And I’ve been without a playmate for so long, my friends aren’t the right fit to play with.”

_Oh fuck you! Those games you played were never pretend! They were as real as real gets and you know it! And ‘playing’ always got someone hurt! ME!_

In a wave of pure courage, he gathered all of the saliva he could in his mouth and opened his eyes to spit directly at Roman’s face. He immediately spotted him and let his ‘ammo’ loose.

Now _he_ relished in how Roman’s face contorted in surprise as the projectile from his mouth hit him square in the face.

His satisfaction on nailing Roman in the face didn’t last long however. 

Instead of Roman using his usual methods that usually left _him_ at the very least sore for days from the abuse, this time, with an bottomless fury he had never seen, Roman grabbed the sword at his side and unsheathed it.

He tried to get up as he realized just what Roman had decided to do, but his arms and legs were tied to the chair he just then realized he was sitting in.

He kept his eyes defiant and snarled at Roman, not backing away like all those years ago.

Roman frowned, but came over to his side, caressing his face in a mockery of a gentle touch.

He snapped his teeth at Roman’s hand, but Roman seemed to expect this and was already pulling back as his teeth closed on open air.

He felt a sharp sting on his cheek and realized he was suddenly looking the opposite direction. He realized that though he could see Roman crystal clear, everything else was a wash of blurry colors.

_That’s different… He never did that before when this usually happened._

Then a second realization came over him as he focused his mind back to the present again.

Roman had slapped him.

_That MOTHERFUCKER!_

He went to snarl, to bite, to rant, to rave, to tear Roman a new one to hell and back, but all the words he wanted to say died in his throat when he saw Roman standing over him, sword poised downward in his hands and hands held high.

He’s gonna… He’s gonna stab me!

He squirmed and writhed and hoped desperately one of them would come loose, but all too quickly Roman sneered and announced:

“Have fun in hell!”

Roman plunged the sword downward into his gut.

Suddenly, the world felt like it was on fire. White hot scorching pain emanated from his stomach and he felt unimaginable pain throughout his body. His eyes automatically screwed themselves shut as his body convulsed uncontrollably from how much pain he was in.

He felt a hand on him and he knew it was Roman’s, even though he knew he was done for, he shoved the hand away with all the resolve he could, not giving Roman the satisfaction of even touching him.

He heard someone above him say something, he knew it was Roman gloating about finally being able to kill him.

Something cold was placed somewhere on his body, he felt the sensation of water and fumed at how Roman was mocking the white hot pain he was feeling by pouring water on him. He didn’t need water…

He needed….

He needed…

Virgil bolted up in bed despite the immediate consequence of agonizing pain of the nerves around his stomach nerves feeling like they were on fire. His hoarse voice exclaiming:

“Deceit!”


	6. What's behind the door?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil might have some things to do

Virgil bolted awake in bed from his very vivid nightmare. 

He was soaked in sweat and a cloth fell off his head as he bolted up. He looked around, taking in deep gasps of breath.

The familiar surroundings of his purple covered room comforted him, and slowly, his breathing slowed down enough that he could think more straight.

He was in his room, he was okay.

But… where was Deceit?

He needed…

He needed to get up.

Get to Deceit.

He was in danger, Virgil was sure of it.

Virgil pulled himself to the edge of his bed and heaved himself onto his feet, ignoring the screaming in his gut that  _ strongly _ protested the movement and effort. 

He  _ needed _ to find Deceit, he wouldn’t stop until…

Until…

How?

How did he forget how bad Roman truly was?

Virgil realized; he  _ knew _ Roman’s true colors, that’s why he was so hard Roman in the first of Thomas’s videos. But somewhere, even when he knew what Roman had done to Deceit, he had forgotten.

How?

Virgil realized he was on the edge of the bed and his breath was increasing in pace again and he felt very dizzy all of a sudden, but he couldn’t worry about that.

He pushed himself to his feet, feeling the world shift disorientingly around him, but he  _ couldn’t  _ falter. Virgil needed to get to Deceit, to see where he is, if he’s okay he’s just got to get to the door. 

Door.

DOOR!

Virgil slammed into the door at full force and his stomach screamed in unimaginable pain, and Virgil felt his throat doing the same, but he didn’t notice until the door flew open and Logan and Patton rushed in, looking panicked and defensive did he realize the sound he couldn’t hear them over was being produced by him.

_ Oh, that makes sense. At least my throat doesn't hurt half as bad as my stomach, that’s a definite plus. _

When he could finally make out their voices, he heard them say:

“Virgil please stop screaming! I’m glad you’re alive, but please stop!”

“Virgil, you’re alright, if you need some pain medicine we have it! Please”

Virgil sobbed as the waves of pain ebbed and Virgil waited until he was sure the worst had passed before he slowly got up, ignoring the questions of Patton and Logan as they pleaded with him not to get up and exacerbate his injuries. 

He pushed just past them, dodging just enough to thwart their attempts to corral him back to bed.

Virgil nearly veered into the wall the moment he escaped his room, but instead he growled to himself and jerked his body away from the wall.

He to get to Deceit.

Had to save him.

But his stomach dropped as he hit the bottom of the stairs and everything he had for breakfast came back up and onto the floor. Unfortunately, this upchuck also caused him to have to stop, causing Logan and Patton to be able to catch up to him by the telltale gentle hand on his back.

“Virgil, you got to stop! You’re gonna hurt yourself really bad if you keep on going like this!”

Virgil raspingly replied, “You don’t understand! I need to-”

And at that moment, the wall Virgil was leaning against burst open, flinging Virgil back, causing Virgil to again scream as his stomach felt like it was being poked with a hot poker.

When then the veil of pain finally allowed him to see what had flung him, his stomach sank to the Earth's core at Mach 10.

Standing in the now revealed secret door, was Deceit, a twisted grin on his face.

“Did you miss me? I know I  _ didn’t. _ ” 

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Virgil couldn’t believe his eyes.

No.

No. No. No.

This wasn’t right, Deceit staring at Virgil with malice fit for Roman.

What world had he awoken in?

_Not a good one._

Virgil coughed and winced as he felt his insides scream at the movement. He looked up at Deceit.

“Deceit… what are you doing?”

Deceit did not answer, throwing a bruised and bloodied Roman out in front of him. Patton shrieked and ran over to Roman. Deceit, wielding Roman’s own sword, extended the sword out under Patton’s chin, forcing Patton to stop. Logan stood frozen, staring at Deceit in the now revealed doorway.

Deceit wagged a mocking finger at Patton, saying, “No helping him, like you helped _Virgil_.”

Deceit spoke his name in such a way that Virgil wondered what kind of upside down world he had fallen into.

“Deceit? Why-”

Deceit rose a solitary finger to his lips in a shushing gesture, and Virgil’s words died on his lips.

Deceit went over to Virgil, stepping over Roman’s body, past Patton.

Virgil wanted to plead with Patton to not go over to Roman, but his eyes were only fixed on the brown and yellow eyes that were focused straight on him. He could only watch as Deceit approached to tower over him.

Could only watch as he was forced up into an upright position, his injuries screaming at him in pain.

Could only watch as the very blade that had pierced through him was placed under his chin.

Could only watch those brown and yellow eyes piercing his.

_Dee?_

_What’s happened to you?_

_Where’s that smile I love so much, that laugh that sounds melodious, like a symphony?_

_Where’s my Dee?_

Deceit’s face, so capable of laughter and joy, twisted in a sneer directed at him.

_His eyes…_

_Wait…_

_His eyes…_

Deceit’s eyes, despite how they pierced into Virgil’s very soul, they… were full of pain.

It was then that Virgil realized.

He turned to Roman.


	8. Chapter 8

Virgil calmly went up to Roman, ignoring Deceit who to the others, strangely didn’t move to stop him. Patton looked up at him with a confused expression as Virgil calmly came up to Roman on the floor and stood above him.

This action finally seemed to snap Logan out of his frozen state as he asked Virgil, “Virgil? What are you doing?”

Virgil didn’t reply, but watching sickeningly as Roman slowly turned up to face him, eyes full for fear, and Virgil knew that most of that was all fake. As fake as his ‘friendship’ with Logan and Patton, it made Virgil’s blood boil more than it already was. But Virgil relished in the fact that some tru part of Roman was scared, as Virgil had figured it out.

Roman made his words sound so convincingly pathetic as he shakingly groaned out: “Virgil? Don’t… don’t hurt me…”

Virgil leaned down, mouth right up to Roman’s ear where no one but Roman could hear him and spoke two words. Two words he hadn’t even realized he had been waiting to say to Roman essentially from the moment he was formed.

“You lose.”

And with that, Virgil launched himself at Deceit, who stood numb where Virgil had left him, and he hoped the others would notice how lifeless and stiff Deceit was until Roman turned his attention away from Virgil and suddenly Deceit’s face turned into a half-smirk.

That was, until Virgil slammed his lips into Deceit’s and grabbed the hand that held the sword, a swell of happiness shooting through him when Deceit’s hand slowly relaxed and let go of the sword he was holding. Some small part of Virgil feared what he was doing wouldn’t be enough, but as he breathed the scent and feel of Deceit, he felt Deceit slowly start to respond, to reciprocate. And Roman wouldn’t make Deceit do that in a million years.

When Virgi’s lungs felt like they were fit for bursting, he finally pulled back and when he did, he almost cried when he saw Deceit’s face, free from the sneer or malice that Roman was twisting it into. But Deceit’s face was full of a love that likely echoed his own.

Not wanting to tear his face away from the absolute vision he was seeing, but knowing he had to, he stared right into Roman’s eyes and with the most amount of victory and pride in his voice, said:

“Now how’s that for a true love’s kiss?”


	9. Chapter 9

Patton was the first to speak after Virgil’s declaration.

“What’s happening? Why has Roman lost?”

Patton had finally gotten to his feet, being stuck sitting out of fear watching the scene previous. His knees were shaking, his face full of uncertainty and fear. He was looking between Virgil and Roman confusedly. Logan had gotten up as well and placed a hand on Patton’s shoulder, looking confused at the scene.

Roman, not missing a beat, yelled out, “Virgil’s mind has been poisoned by that lying snake! He’s going to hurt you! Help me out of my bonds so I can combat this lying sack of snake!”

Glancing over at Patton and Logan, Virgil snarls, “The only one lying here is you, Roman! You’re the one who has taken over Deceit! Don’t even try to deny it! Look at Deceit, he’s exhausted!”

Virgil turned back, facing Deceit once more. 

Deceit looked exhausted, Virgil knew he was tired, but as Deceit’s knees gave out and he pitch forward into Virgil, Virgil’s heart seized in panic.

“Woah!”

Virgil brought Deceit’s head into the crook of his shoulder as he lowered Deceit to the ground. Deceit’s body was limp and relaxed as he had lost consciousness.

“Is Deceit okay?” 

Patton’s vulnerable sounding vice said from behind Virgil. Virgil smoothed Deceit’s hair back, taking off his hat to do so.

“He will be.”

Virgil looked over at Patton to see him turn to Roman, who was still bound and struggling to get up.

“What did he mean by you taking over Deceit?”

Roman whipped his head up, making a good show of confusion and anger, as if he truly didn’t know what Virgil was referring to.

“Are you really believing the mind poisoned by that _fiend_?!”

Patton flinched at the shout, but it was small and barely noticeable. Patton frowned.

“I hear out all my kiddos, even if they may be misguided. Nothing’s wrong with hearing someone out, in fact, if you hear _all_ of what someone has to say, you might _actually_ understand where they could be coming from.” 

Roman gapes for a moment, seeming completely caught off guard by Patton’s statement. This is compounded by Logan stepping up and speaking, “I agree with Patton’s sentiment, just because we are giving him the place to speak doesn’t mean that we necessarily agree, Roman. That’s the whole concept of a debate is listening to someone else and combating their ideas fairly.”

Roman gapes even wider, face completely open and confused, looking betrayed. 

Virgil stared daggers at Roman, which brought Roman out of his confused stupor. 

Roman’s face suddenly morphed into something vulnerable. “Hey Patton, can you untie me?” 

Virgil’s hand halted in Deceit’s hair, and his expression became stricken.

“Wait, Pat-”

“Virgil, it isn’t nice to leave Roman tied up. You wouldn’t like it if you were bound would you?”

Virgil glances down at Roman, catching a devious grin on his face out of sight of Patton.

“I wouldn’t, but-”

Patton gently interrupts him, “No buts Virgil. Plus, Roman’s not going to hurt anyone.”

Virgil again made eye contact with Roman and scowled at him. 

Virgil didn’t speak again as Patton worked Roman’s bonds, all the while catching Roman’s eye with a scowl as he pulled Deceit to his chest. He needed some way to protect them, him, Deceit, everyone!

When Patton finally stepped back, letting the bonds fall off Roman’s wrists, Virgil’s body tensed. He analyzed every movement, every twitch of Roman’s hand and every glance.

Which is why when Roman grabbed Patton’s arm, Virgil had already shouted, “Patton!”

And suddenly, they were both gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Logan was speechless as he watched two of his friends disappear as Roman forcefully sank Patton out with him. Roman’s expression was… disturbing to say the least. Logan had never seen such an… evil expression so much as hinted on Roman’s face.

Roman’s eyes... Logan couldn’t help but shudder.

He could worry about Roman’s eyes later, though. Patton had just been taken and Deceit was unconscious. There were bigger metaphorical fish to fry first.

Logan was the first to officially recover from the shock of what just happened; Virgil was still frozen to the spot looking down at the spot where Roman sank out with Patton. As Logan stepped forward, Virgil instantaneously reacted. An animalistic snarl roared from his lips as Virgil clutched Deceit’s body to himself, stepping automatically away from Logan. His eyeshadow was much darker and bigger than before, which Logan had observed correlated to his level of anxiousness on the whole.

Today was the biggest and darkest he had ever seen the eyeshadow below Virgil’s eyes ever. Uncharted territory levels of anxiety radiated off of Virgil, his body was as tight as a bowstring meaning one wrong move would cause Virgil to snap.

“Whoa. Virgil, it’s me, Logan. I’m not going to hurt either of you, okay?” Putting up his hands to signal he didn’t mean any harm, Logan stopped short, the expression was open but careful.

Virgil was fight or flight and Logan wanted neither of those to happen in his panicked state. He moved slowly as Virgil’s dark eyes studied him before they slowly cleared as Virgil’s rational part of his metaphorical brain kicked in. 

Looking vaguely apologetic for a moment, Virgil relaxed his grip on Deceit. Eyes still wary and trained on Logan, Virgil questioned Logan.

“Are you going to hurt him, Logic? Logan?” Virgil corrected himself.

Logan shook his head with slight emphaticness. “No, that would defeat the purpose of us as manifestations in Thomas’s head. Thomas is a whole person and getting rid of any part of his one personality would impair him in a way that would be detrimental to us all.”

Virgil’s eyes widened, but his brow stayed furrowed at Logan’s words. “Is that the only reason you can come up with? What about that he’s my friend or... whatever he is to me now?”

Logan stepped back at the force behind Virgil’s voice. “Well, it wasn’t until a metaphorical handful of hours ago that you expressed complete ease with Deceit, so-”

“You think I’m making a mistake? That I’m blinded by emotion or something?” Virgil’s voice was suddenly metaphorically venomous.

Logan stepped back another step, his hands coming up again in front of him as Virgil’s voice rose higher in volume. Virgil’s face scrunched as he awaited Logan’s response.

“No, Virgil, I was merely highlighting the very suddenness to me and us in general of your acceptance of Deceit, though I know you well enough to admit I may have just missed the signs that you no longer thought ill of Deceit. For that I suppose I apologize.” Logan blurted out all at once.

Virgil stood still a moment, face scrunched together in confusion as he tried to piece together what Logan had said in his rush. When recognition lit up Virgil’s face with a slightly gaped mouth and wide shining eyes, Logan breathed a sigh of relief only to have a mass of black and purple rapidly slam into him.

“Oof!” Logan involuntarily groaned out. 

“Sorry Lo, just… need someone.” Virgil said. His voice slowly grew quieter as Virgil pressed his face to Logan’s abdomen. 

“Well… I’m here… and you have no need to apologize, Virgil. I know you will never wish ill of me if I don’t wish ill of you and I shall never wish ill of any portion of Thomas.” Logan soothed, running one of his hands along Virgil’s back while the other ran along Deceit’s limp form Virgil was still carrying. 

“What about Roman? Wait, we need to rescue Pat-” Virgil’s eyes widened and his breathing increasingly quickened as the reality of what Roman had done hit him after the high of protecting Deceit wore off. He subconsciously pressed his head more into Logan’s abdomen to try to calm himself down.

“I may disagree with any of you and your methods of protecting or helping Virgil in your own ways, but I will never wish for any of you to fade or duck out. As for that, let us secure Deceit first. His form will only be a liability if we take him as we search for Roman and Patton.” 

Pulling back from Logan and sitting up, Virgil was silent a moment before he slowly nodded. 

“Okay, we’ll have to leave a note too. He might wake up and won’t know what is going on, so he needs something to tell him what happened.” 

Logan nodded, pulling back himself as he turned to proceed away from the living room. However, Virgil paused, Deceit’s form pressed to him as he gazed at the ground.

Logan had taken a step away from Virgil, but face Virgil again when he noticed Virgil had not moved.

“Virgil?”

Virgil looked up and Logan parted his lips as he observed the tears dripping down Virgil’s cheeks.

“Logan, tell me everything's okay.”

Logan pursed his lips.

“Are you saying to just-”

“Please, say it. If you say it, maybe it’ll be true I don’t... know what I want I just…”

Logan's heart twisted in pain as Virgil began to sob, hugging Deceit’s limp form for some kind of comfort. 

Logan weighed the words in his mind, testing how true they were. And when he was confident, Logan spoke.

“Everything will be okay, Virgil.”

A beat of silence.

“I promise.”


End file.
